Love, Always

Relationship missing that spark? 3 ways to re-ignite the flame … and have a verrry fun night!

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Feel like your relationship is missing that … spark?

There are so many factors that can put a damper on sex, intimacy and affection between partners.

Sometimes, the absence of sex (and sexy, sparkly, I-want-you feelings) can be traced directly back to unresolved anger and resentment. (Like: He cheated five years ago, and she’s still not over it. Or: She’s been giving him the “silent treatment” for weeks, and he feels rejected.)

Other times, a “grudge” isn’t to blame. The lack of sex + sexual desire is simply a matter of conflicting schedules, big life transitions (like a new baby in the picture), or plain old boredom!

Every couple is different and every “spark” needs to be re-ignited in a slightly different way.

But if you and your partner are willing to experiment and play …

Here are 3 ways to start rekindling those tingly, sexy feelings.

Grab your partner, choose whichever options feel the most intriguing … and see what happens!

1. Make an “I love when you…” list.

If you only choose ONE thing to try, make it this one.

Over the course of one day, make a list of everything your partner does that makes you happy + turns you on … even just a tiny bit.

“I love when you greet me at the door when I come home from work…”

“I love when you stand behind me and give me a hug when I’m washing the dishes…”

“I love when you tell me I look beautiful when I’m putting on my work clothes and getting ready to leave for the day…”

Keep building your lists, all day long, even when you’re apart, and then at the end of the day, sit close together and read both of your lists out loud.

2. Say “I’m glad that you’re here.”

… with your words AND your actions.

For one day, try to say to your partner, “Hey, I’m glad that you’re here” at least three times.

You can say the words, and / or express yourself through touch — a little squeeze or a gentle kiss on the cheek.

Keep expressing your appreciation. Make it clear that you don’t take your partner’s presence for granted.

3. Make an “It would be amazing if…” list.

Over the course of one day, make a list of everything that you’d LOVE your partner to try doing … or do more of.

Think of it like an “ultimate fantasy list.”

“It would be amazing if I came home from work, and you were waiting in bed. Naked…”

“It would be amazing if you called me at 5 pm to say, ‘meet me outside’. And then swept me away for a romantic date night…”

“It would be amazing if you woke me up with a foot massage, and brought me breakfast in bed…”

Keep building your lists, all day long, even when you’re apart, and then at the end of the day, sit close together and read both of your lists out loud.

Extra credit: choose one fantasy scenario, each … and DO them!

OK, I know I said “3 ways,” but I’ve got to include just one more …

4. Try a day of “no sex.”

It may seem counter-intuitive, but try blocking out a whole day where you’re not “allowed” to have sex. (Ideally, this would be a day when you’re both not working.)

Kissing is fine. Foreplay is fair game. But no intercourse.

Build tension and excitement like teenagers … perhaps like you did back when you were first dating.

Send each other sexy texts all day long … building even more anticipation for your big “reunion”!

Set a special time (say, 9 pm) when you’re “allowed” to have sex again.

Haaaave fun, you two! :)

. . .

PS. This blog post is a sneak peek at my brand new digital guidebook:

The Life Guide On How To Rekindle That Spark — And Create The Relationship + Sex Life That You Want.

 
http://drsuzannegelb.com/rekindle-spark/

 
This Life Guide is available as of TODAY. Yay!

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