Love, Always

Your body is talking. Are you listening?

A couples times a month, I appear on a local television station for Keiki Talk — a segment on effective parenting and how to raise happy, healthy, awesome kids.

(It’s one of my favorite parts of my month! Oh, and the word “Keiki” means “Little One” or “Child” in Hawaiian, for those of you who haven’t seen that particular term before.)

Recently, I happened to glance at a photo that was taken of me while I was on the set, engaged in telling a story and delivering advice for parents.

In the photo,I noticed something that hadn’t caught my eye before: my hands were touching each other with fingers pressed together like a church steeple.

I found that interesting, in a strange kind of way. I wasn’t aware I’d been using that particular gesture while on the air.

“I wonder what that means?” I thought. I studied body language back in college, decades ago. But that particular gesture was not one that I recalled.

I did some Googling about what our hand gestures reveal about ourselves, and I came across this statement in Psychology Today:

“You will steeple your fingers (fingertips together like a church steeple) more often when confident but it will vanish the moment you lack confidence or have insecurities.

Steepling is important to get your point across that you feel strongly about what you are saying, it is probably the most powerful display of confidence that we possess.”

“Wow, that’s awesome!” I thought. “My body knew exactly what I was feeling in that moment — confident, excited, happy to share and speak my mind — and my body reflected those exact feelings without me needing to ‘try’ or ‘force’ or ‘remember’ anything. My body just… did it!”

In that moment, my body was expressing my True Self. This is especially meaningful to me because that photo — with those confident, steepled fingers — captures how far I’ve come as a public speaker, a service provider, and as a human being.

I haven’t always felt confident. In fact, years ago, I was mired in so much self-hatred and insecurity that life barely even felt worth continuing.

But that was before I learned how to be self-loving. With love… came confidence.

Not an arrogant “I’m better than you” type of confidence, but a genuine appreciation for my skills and knowledge and deep gratitude for the privilege to share that knowledge with others (on TV, here with you on the blog, or in private conversations with clients).

That’s the type of confidence that — literally! — came beaming from my heart through my fingertips.

What’s even more miraculous to me is that my body knew how to convey what I was feeling, perfectly. I didn’t need to rehearse anything, script anything, memorize anything, in order to convey that confident gesture. It just happened — naturally.

This experience reminded me that our bodies do not lie.

Our bodies tell all.

In fact, our bodies are constantly “talking” to us — and to others.

And sometimes, we may not like what our bodies have to tell us.

A pimple could be your body’s way of saying, “Hey, things are getting pretty stressful around here! Are we gonna do something about that, or what?”

A tense gut could be your body’s way of saying, “Yikes. Something about this situation feels off. Let’s get out of here.”

A cold could be your body’s way of saying, “Hey, Self, you’re working too hard and skimping on self-care. I’m officially going on strike until you improve the working conditions around here!”

Slumped shoulders and a crunched-up neck could be your body’s way of saying to you — and to others — “I’m tense and tired. Back off.”

Your body doesn’t always tell you what you want to hear, but one thing’s for sure:

It always tells the truth.

. . .

PS. What is your body telling you, these days?