Love, Always

“You are not invisible.” A love letter to older women, everywhere.

This is not an advice column. This is not a list of how-to tips. This is not a sales pitch.

This is a love letter, from my heart to yours.

A love letter to older women, everywhere.

. . .

Dear Friend,

I remember the very first time I looked in the mirror and saw… the unthinkable.

Wrinkles. Sagging skin. Like the rings on a tree. Evidence of the passage of time.

“Whose body is this?” I thought. “There has to be something I can do to reverse this! This just isn’t me. I’m not ready to be ‘old’. I need my younger body back. I don’t want to become unattractive. I don’t want to feel invisible.”

I began researching potions and lotions with the phrase “anti-aging” in the title.

I was panicking.

I was so full of sadness, so full of fear.

I carried on like this for several unhappy days.

Until I remembered… that fear is the opposite of love.

Until I remembered… that love is what I deserve & where I belong.

I am writing this letter to you in case you have temporarily forgotten, too.

I’ll say it again:

Love is what you deserve. Love is where you belong.

As an unborn child, you deserved love. As an infant, you deserved love. As a toddler, a teenager, a young woman in your twenties or thirties… you deserved love.

Today, right now, in this moment, you still deserve love.

You deserve love from others, of course. Along with attention, care and respect.
And — though it doesn’t always happen — it’s wonderful when you receive it.

But more importantly, you deserve the kind of unconditional, boundless love that you can — and must — give to yourself. The love that comes from within & never runs out.

This is the kind of love that really counts.

This is the kind of love that brings deep satisfaction.

This is the kind of love that energizes you and propels you to serve others, too.

So, the next time you are feeling unattractive, unsexy or invisible, ask yourself:

If there was a woman, just like me, but self-loving and she was sitting right in front of me…

What would she say?

Would her loving self say, “You are ugly and worthless” …?

Or would she say, “You are important. You are wise. You are a miracle. You have so much to give, so many ways you can serve, just by listening, caring, offering insights or telling a story. Such value. Such beauty. Just by existing. Just by being… you.”

Whatever self-love would say? Say that to yourself. It’s the truth.

“If you realized how beautiful you are, you would fall at your own feet.”
Byron Katie [born in 1942, age 71.]

Byron is right.

You are beautiful.

You are a miracle.

You matter.

And you are not invisible.

. . .

PS. Consider reaching out to an older woman today and telling her something along the lines of, “You’re beautiful, you matter, and I’m so happy to know you.” (Hint: the woman you talk to can be… you.)